Author Archives: Katy Went

Pansexual Visibility Day 24 May

Pansexual Visibility Day

Pansexual Visibility Day is more than jokes about pans and making out in the cookware aisle. Pansexuality has been a term since 1917 and goes beyond two genders (bisexuality) in its attractions.

The following is from my personal social media and combines humour with education so hence it begins… “No offence intended… as my partner is pansexual and that’s my pansexual Pride flag under my new 40cm paella pan that coincidentally arrived this week…”

Pansexual Visibility Day, Pan Pride

Pansexual Visibility Day, Pan Pride

I remember the early jokes with pansexuality about making out in Lakeland’s cookware aisle on the queer comedy circuit (you know like Metrosexual is doing ‘it’ on the underground or Ubersexual in a cab).

My foodie followers on instagram or facebook will see a great frying pan for an ostrich egg, paella or risotto; my LGBTIQAP+ friends and allies will spot the official flag. I see both.

Well, the term has been around since 1917, more sexual revolution than Russian revolution. Pan-sexuality places sexual attraction above or beyond sex and gender. In its early Freudian years, it was more omnisexual and about primary or even primal sexual appetite. Now it’s considered a more diverse or inclusive version of bisexuality aligning its attractions to all genders (and none) not just two. Bi could also mean attraction to eg women and intersex, trans and men, androgynous and masculine. Polysexual is an attraction to several sex/gender identities, and pan – to all. Some see it as inclusive, others as gender blind. Some see Bi as the umbrella term, others Pan – and I’ve been in meetings where it was argued out!

Whilst my partner is pansexual I’m asexual which makes for interesting assumptions about us by others. But I’m also pansensual and polyflirty, and asexually polyamorous (they are for a whole other blog post)! I also studied ancient Greek so I can create new terms if I need them!

As with any identity label, this Pansexual Visibility Day (24 May), you should ask a pansexual what they mean by the term and enough jokes about saucepans!

LGBTQIA Alphabet Spaghetti Soup

The Alphabet soup of Identity from LGBTIQAP to XYZ

The Alphabet soup of Identity

alphabet spaghetti LGBTQIAHow did we go from Gay to LGBT to LGBTQIAP to LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP etc? Who or what constitutes inclusion? There was much soul-searching and sometimes acrimonious debate on whether to add Bi and Trans. Moreso, when Intersex, Asexual, or Kink (BDSM) are considered.

Would Queer suffice as an all-inclusive umbrella without upsetting too many of the generation that experienced “queer-bashing”?

Certainly, one defining characteristic is being ‘other’ and minority (though among young Gen Z’ers as a whole they are almost a majority). Anyone but CisHetBin – cisgender heterosexual and binary, may still exclude some.

“One thing, however, seems certain. LGBTQQI will continue to be added to until the only person not represented in the list will be a straight, monogamous man.” – Julie Bindel

Does everyone/anyone even want to be included?

Some LGBs don’t want Trans included. Some Trans people who identify as straight don’t see why they are included.

In the UK during 2018-19 calls from a minority of Lesbians to “Get the L Out” came in response to disagreements over Trans inclusion and conflation of sex and gender identity.

There are people with intersex characteristics who are content with designated birth sex (even if many are not content with sex-conforming birth surgeries) and define as straight, so why would they want to be added? That said, near half the Intersex people I know define as non-binary but are still reticent to see themselves included on an LGBTI spectrum for fear of confusion and conflation with Trans issues. However, many European LGBT+ rights and policy groups have gone LGBTI. Yet, has anyone asked Intersex people if they want including? Stonewall UK did, and half those invited wanted in, the other half, out – so stalemate and Stonewall evolved to be LGBT but not LGBTI – even that caused trouble for some.

Identity Obsession?

Is it all “Queer careerism” and “identity potlucking”?

“identarian potlucking that the literary upper class adores. Queer careerism. Disgraceful hypocrites.” – Aoife Assumpta Hart, PhD

Two Hundred Identities

alphabet spaghetti 200 identitiesThere are some 100-200 identities (even more on Tumblr) now used to describe sex, gender, sexuality, and romantic attraction – or their lack thereof. Many of these overlap and there are 40+ acronyms attempting to summarise them.

  • LGBT – These 4 letters do not cover all the sexes, genders or sexualities

Some of the alternative trialled have been GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities), GSRM (Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities), GSD (Gender and Sexual Diversity), and GSRD (Gender, Sexual and Romantic Diversity), and MOGAI (Minority/Marginalized Orientations, Gender Alignments and Intersex), MOGII (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex), or MOGI (Marginalized Orientations Genders and Intersex).

In the end, LGBT has stuck, though for a while, and particularly in the USA, GLBT was prominent whilst LGBT or LGBTQ with or without + are now considered more internationally universal.

“We do seem to expend so much energy over this naming business. There’s only one sure way of ending the alphabet soup nonsense, It’s LGBTQQINQBHTHOWTB – LGBTQQ Not Queer But Happy To Help Out When They’re Busy” – Paul Burston

“Or it could be shortened to GLW (Gay, Lesbian or Whatever)”

The dilemma of those wanting to keep it short is their disregard of anyone but gay or lesbian and the historical who came first privilege.


One of the longest seen is the safe space advertised at Wesleyan Uni:

“a safe space for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Flexual, Asexual, Genderfuck, Polyamourous, Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism (LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM) communities and for people of sexually or gender dissident communities. The goals of Open House include generating interest in a celebration of queer life from the social to the political to the academic. Open House works to create a Wesleyan community that appreciates the variety and vivacity of gender, sex and sexuality.” Wesleyan Uni, Connecticut, USA 


Someone, somewhere, will dispute the inclusion or omission of every/any letter.





Amalgagender makes it onto Washington State legal identity documentation


Amalgagender – “A gender that is affected by, or mixed into one’s intersex identity. For use by intersex people only.” MOGAI Lexicon

Amalgagender – “A gender that is affected by one being intersex, as it is “mixed into” one’s gender identity.” – Intersex based Genders (Tumblr)

From amalgam+gender, where the word amalgam means a mixture or alloy suggesting a blend of male+female bodily sex and potentially gender identity too. Online communities have reserved this word for those born intersex and for whom that affects their gender identity too. It is therefore not a non-intersex transgender term.

Intersex people (up to 1.7% of the population across all variations), may have varying degrees of ambiguous, atypical, and/or dual sex characteristics. Many are assigned and without consent surgically consigned to one sex or the other, however, subsequently they may identify with another gender, both, none, or non-binary. Up to 20% of intersex people may experience gender dysphoria and around 19%, according to Australian 2016 research, identify as non-binary.

The historical etymology of amalgam goes back from Latin via Arabic and to the Greek malakos μαλακός meaning “soft” which was also used in the Bible’s New Testament to seemingly describe “effeminacy” or passive receptive partner homosexuality but which could equally mean wealthy luxurious attire. The historic Greek usage sees μαλακός as contrasted to perseverance and strength and attributes softness of body to it, i.e., atypically masculine, softer, gentle, closer to then-stereotypically female attributes.

Amalgagender in the news

The oldest news reference to the term amalgagender stems from a footnote reference in a 2016 Showbiz411 article about the TV show Billions and its featuring of mainstream television’s first explicitly-cast non-binary character.

In May 2017, UK Bristol Water company added Ind, Misc and Mx, gender neutral honorific terms of address. The Bristol Post newspaper reported on it and again in a footnote added further information about gender neutral terms.

In January 2018, Washington State announced that it would let people change the gender markers on birth certificates to a third gender ‘X’ option:

“a gender that is not exclusively male or female, including, but not limited to, intersex, agender, amalgagender, androgynous, bigender, demigender, female-to-male, genderfluid, genderqueer, male-to-female, neutrois, nonbinary, pangender, third sex, transgender, transsexual, Two Spirit, and unspecified.” –, 5 Jan 2018

Washington State follows Oregon, D.C., and California, in the United States offering non-binary recognition on official documents from birth certificates, to driving licenses, and gender recognition documents and other forms of ID. In 2015, among 28,000 US trans respondents, 68% of transgender people reported that their none of their IDs matched their identity, only 11% had all their IDs in sync with their gender identity.

The sex marker options of M,F, or X have been around for some 70 years on international passports, streamlined by aviation authorities and international embassies after WWII.



LGBTIQ Fifty Shades of Graysexuality & Gender

Fifty Shades of GreySexuality, Sex & Gender

Fifty Shades of GreySexuality, Sex & Gender

The Alphabet soup of Identity from LGBTIQ… to XYZ

From Tumblr to Twitter teens are taking their identity in their own hands, not conforming to stereotypes instead creating their own labels and definitions. As one speech at the 2015 Oscars said:

“I didn’t belong. Now I’m here..this [is] for that kid who feels weird or different. Stay weird. Stay different” – Graham Moore

Explore over 100 sex, gender, sexuality, and romantic types – and then make up your own, and be yourself!